Finally! Someone who teaches how to keep children safe – in a way that will actually help!
I’m incredibly happy I found themamabeareffect.org. None of this “Don’t talk to stangers” feel-good rubbish that everyone else regurgitates. Themamabeareffect has a no-bullshit-allowed attitude to child safety. If the child safety advice you read is:
- nice and simple
- makes the parent feel better
- absolves the parent of responsibility (by dumping it on a young child)
then it’s bullshit and themamabeareffect (and me) will have no part of it.
Why are they (and me) against the “Don’t talk to strangers” strategy? Why are they against teaching kids to first say “No.” to an abuser, then to run away, then to tell somebody about what’s happened? Doesn’t that sound like a good thing to teach kids?
Let’s look at just the main points from the We’re Against “No. Run. Tell” And Here’s Why article.
- Most sexual abuse is not perpetrated by strangers.
- It Puts Undue Responsibility on The Child
- It Doesn’t Even Work With Adults
- It Could Make Adults Feel Less Responsible
How do you run away from an abuser when he’s your soccer coach and you’re stuck at soccer practice for the next 2 hours?
How can you expect a 5 year old child to have the wherewithal to realise something inappropriate is happening, and then stand up to an adult? Especially when being in school trains children to automatically do whatever a stranger shouts at them to do. School is 8 hours a day of training to be intimidated into obedience. And you wonder why kids don’t “say NO, run away, tell someone”?
I would go so far as to guess that almost every parent who uses Stranger Danger as a safety strategy does so because it makes them feel better, like just saying those words magically makes their kid safer (talisman thinking).
I, for one, will add themamabeareffect.org to my list of places to read on a regular basis. I don’t know who they are, but if they were to drop me an e-mail, I’d love to talk to them.
Keep up the good work Mama Bear.