Moves too effective for the UFC? Perfect for self defence! Here’s the list

MMA, UFC, EFC. These are all sports where people beat the crap out of each other. But they’re still sports, and so anything that might cause real damage is considered a foul. Self defence isn’t a sport – so here’s a list of things too nasty for the UFC to allow.

 

UFC and MMA competitions are for entertainment purposes. And if the fights ended in a few seconds because someone suddenly found themselves missing an eyeball or 25% crippled because one of their arms stopped working, then there wouldn’t be nearly as much money to be made. Like a good movie scene where the tension is slowly built up to the finale, a good fighting match lasts a while to drag out and heighten the tension.

 

Want proof? Check out these 2 fouls:

22 – “… conduct that causes injury …”

26 – “Timidity … avoiding contact …”

 

These 2 “fouls” sound about the opposite of what self defence is all about.

 

That being said, just because UFC says no-no, doesn’t mean it’s good for self defence by definition. Take the ground-and-pound. Not only is it pretty ineffective for self defence, there’s also a 99.999% chance it’s illegal (very few situations could legally warrant the ground-and-pound, and, again, there are things more effective anyway).

 

So here’s the list of UFC fouls. Things too dangerous for them to allow in an event designed for entertainment. Things (mostly) perfect for putting someone down quickly so you can escape.

 

Fouls:

  1. Butting with the head
  2. Eye gouging of any kind
  3. Biting
  4. Spitting at an opponent
  5. Hair pulling
  6. Fish hooking
  7. Groin attacks of any kind
  8. Putting a finger into any orifice or any cut or laceration of an opponent
  9. Small joint manipulation
  10. Striking downward using the point of the elbow
  11. Striking to the spine or the back of the head
  12. Kicking to the kidney with a heel
  13. Throat strikes of any kind, including, without limitation, grabbing the trachea
  14. Clawing, pinching or twisting the flesh
  15. Grabbing the clavicle
  16. Kicking the head of a grounded opponent
  17. Kneeing the head of a grounded opponent
  18. Stomping a grounded opponent
  19. Holding the fence
  20. Holding the shorts or gloves of an opponent
  21. Using abusive language in fenced ring/fighting area
  22. Engaging in any unsportsmanlike conduct that causes injury to an opponent
  23. Attacking an opponent on or during the break
  24. Attacking an opponent who is under the care of the referee
  25. Attacking an opponent after the bell has sounded the end of the round
  26. Timidity, including, without limitation, avoiding contact with an opponent, intentionally or consistently dropping the mouthpiece or faking an injury
  27. Throwing opponent out of ring/fighting area
  28. Flagrantly disregarding the instructions of the referee
  29. Spiking an opponent to the canvas on his head or neck
  30. Interference by the corner
  31. Applying any foreign substance to the hair or body to gain an advantage

 

See anything useful for a shitty situation where you’re screwed if you don’t do something effective?

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