No woman wants to hear this. And most will skip reading this so that they can avoid the uncomfortable emotions. But YOUR HANDBAG DOESN’T COUNT!
I am completely thrilled that you choose to carry a weapon. Honest to goodness happy and chuffed. Whether it’s something you decided for yourself, or whether it’s to get your boyfriend to stop nagging (see, you don’t like being nagged either), it’s a GOOD THING you’re doing.
White knights are lazy schmucks with bad timing
If we’re honest, the best reason to carry a weapon is because you realise that boyfriends and husbands and knights on white horses unfortunately have terrible timing and just don’t pitch up at the exact moment you need them (bastards). And phoning for help isn’t always an option. Waiting for help even less so. So some days you have to be the one who helps you.
Put simply – You have realised that you are responsible for you.
Now that’s simple when we’re talking an extra trip to get the heavy groceries inside because you’re on your own. But it’s another thing entirely when it’s danger that needs taking care of.
(A quick aside – I’m not here to make you feel better and help you feel less fear. I could give a flying fornication about your emotions. I’m here for danger management, not fear management. Fear won’t kill you. Fear won’t rape you. Fear won’t slash your face with a knife to make you let go of your handbag. That guy that followed you down the street and keeps looking at you and started walking faster so that he’ll get to you as you pass the empty alleyway up ahead, will.)
Do you have a plan for if some guy decides he wants to hit you and stomp your head into the floor? (Please note that having your head on the floor and getting it kicked is a great way to end up dead or as a vegetable.) And does this plan involve any detail beyond feeling less afraid because you have a weapon in your handbag (talisman thinking).
Ah, that’s why you have that knife your husband makes you carry. Great! Where is it?
In your handbag? Well shit.
Picture this: You’re scared, and a little bit excited. You made it to the finals of the World Speed Make-Up competition. You’ve beat out the competition, just this one bitch to go and you win the whole thing. You prepare yourself, get ready for the starting whistle. Where do you put your make-up? In the bottom of your Mary Poppin’s bag? Under the keys, the phone, the spare lip-balm, 3 wet wipes, the toy for your kid for those over-tired situations and just to the left of your hairbrush and shopping list?
No, you keep it in your hand or on the table in front of you. You know you can’t get stuff out your bag fast – that’s why the phone’s at the top.
If your weapon is in your handbag then you can’t get to it quickly. End of story. It might as well not be there for most situations. In which case you’re not carrying a weapon – you’re carrying an emotion-soothing balm. A device for stopping husband nagging. A talisman. A fear-management tool. NOT a danger management tool.
Where in the following situations would you be able to execute a tacticool-speed-handbag-draw?
This lady was raped after 3 guys help her with car problems
These look like some of those cases of genuine stranger rape:
Rewatch the migrant knocking that girl to the floor and then stomping her. Where in that do you have time to dig in your handbag? Before the hitting? Maybe. Seems like a terrible chance to take. Reread my comments on being on the floor and getting stomped.
Solutions? Find a way to carry on your body. Tucked into skirts/pants. Clipped onto a bra. Wear a fashionable outer garment. MAKE A PLAN. Rewatch and read the videos and news articles here every time you’re tempted to put a danger management tool in your handbag.
Last one. When you start getting pissed off and your spine feels all rigid, then you’re on the right path.