How to target the nose

The nose is a mundane “everybody punches the nose” target. Except that there are some creative things you can do with the nose. Unexpected things. Nasty, sneaky things…


The nose is used primarily for pain. Structural damage to the nose isn’t necessarily debilitating. It’s not like destroying someone’s knee. The nose isn’t so good for controlling the head (to direct the body – exceptions do exist though). But what it can do, and do really well, is the unexpected.


You can punch him

Starting with the mundane, you can punch the nose. Use a fist, use a hammerfist (better), use an elbow, or use a palm heel. No, you won’t kill him. Maybe you’ll break his nose. Maybe his eyes’ll water up. It’ll hurt somewhat. He might reel back with the pain and shock, but then again he might shake his head and get pissed off.


So instead of the mundane let’s look at the interesting (and sometimes funny).


A simple twist

Let’s start at a low, monkey dance at a wedding, level of force. Ever do that annoying thing where you pinch a kid’s nose, pull your hand away and say “Gotcha nose”? Well what if you grab the nose as hard as possible (you know, really crunch it) and then twist it. Get the nose between your fingers in a fist, or crush it between your fingertips and your palm (what Marc MacYoung called “glomming” onto something), then twist and bend away.


A little nibble

Let’s move on to a much higher level of force. Maybe wrestling on the pavement with a drug addict mugger who ambushed you. Does he have a nose? Bite the fucking thing. Bite his nose and bite it hard. Latch on and be reluctant to let go. Making him fucking look like Voldemort.


About as unexpected as it gets. If for whatever reason the guy’s face ends up that close to you, and you really need to make an impression, then the humble bite can do that for you.


Prime examples of nose biting in action: Mel Gibson’s classic move; and a nice, unexpected duck.


Note: Blood-borne pathogens do exist in the world. And they’re more prevalent among the types of people likely to attack someone in a criminal way (as opposed to straight up monkey dance bar fight social way). That means the person you’re likely to bite is also likely to have diseases. But shit happens and something unexpected can snatch the initiative away from the BG when you’re desperate.


The most unexpected of unexpected’s

I’ve come across this particular piece of deviousness in 2 different places. One was a movie, the other was a book. The book was Scaling Force (By Miller and Kane) (good book by the way – absolutely worth the money and time). The movie was Guardians of the Galaxy.


The (true) story from the book starts with a bar fight that lead to a takedown and a ground and pound. To quote from the book:

“Of course he did it on cement and the other guy didn’t fall right, so the dude on the bottom was in serious trouble. As I rushed to intervene, the guy on top suddenly flew backward screaming, blood pouring out of his nose.”


So what did the guy on the bottom do? He stuck his finger up the other guy’s nose.


Let’s watch a Hollywood version.


Now you don’t have to lift the guy off his feet like in the movie (you’re not a super strong alien species of a tree for example) – but then again it would add to the effect.


A simple tweak

If you bite someone they’re likely to get a fright and pull away before you can do too much damage. Same thing (or so I imagine) with the finger up the nose or the grab and twist. But like chocolate, some things work better in quantity. So instead of letting the guy pull away, why not grab the back of his head and hold him in a loving embrace while you bite his nose off?


Use 1 hand or 2, but extending the pain can (potentially) be a nice way to really reset the guy’s brain and make him forget all about hurting you. Let’s face it, a bite can hurt, it can really hurt. But if someone gives you a quick bite and lets go, it doesn’t exactly rock your world. It just kinda pisses you off.


But if you hang on and keep biting (or twisting, or finger-up-the-nosing), to the point where all he can think about is getting you off of him? Well that sounds awfully a lot like he’s taken the initiative and handed it right over to you.


Grab the back of his head with one hand, stick a finger up his nose, and then grind your hand and finger together? Hold the back of his head (like you want to kiss him) and bite down on his nose like you’re starving to death?That’s a decent shot at resetting his OODA loop right there


Parting shot

And of course, if he happens to have a nose ring…

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