The 2 ways rape culture can get you raped

I figure ideas like “rape culture” and “micro-aggressions” are kind of like a lack of free speech. If you can complain about it, odds are you aren’t experiencing it. Currently in the U.S., in Europe, in Australia and other “civilised” places, if someone is raped, the cops will look for the perpetrator. Society will not buy this schmuck a beer and high five him, they’re more likely to threaten to kill him. If you’re in South Africa and the gogo’s (the grandmothers) in the village get pissed enough, they’ll get the young-uns to tie his hands, drop a tyre around his neck, pour a bit of petrol on him and add a match.

In Europe recently an economic migrant refugee was in the changing rooms of a public pool. There he decided to rape an 11-year old boy. Afterwards the boy found a cop and, through the tears, told him what had happened. The cop found the attacker hanging around the pool. When he was in the process of getting arrested the attacker explained that it he was sorry that the boy had been hurt, but it was a sexual emergency because he hadn’t had sex for four months. Think about that for a minute. That yes, he’d hurt the buy, but it was an emergency, couldn’t the cop see that. Imagine living in a place where an adult male has no regard beyond his own lack of sex. That he can’t understand how someone can’t see why that explains everything. THAT is a rape culture. Where the idea of there even being a victim doesn’t enter the perpetrator’s mind. There’s just his “need”. The other person is just a convenient object to be used, with zero thought. It’s beyond being a process predator. A process predator will take delight in torturing and raping you for hours or days. But at least he understands that this is wrong (or at least that other people in his society will consider it wrong enough to come after him). This migrant wasn’t even a psychopath who doesn’t see other people as people. Raping a child counts the same as going to the bathroom. ‘Cause when you’re desperate to pee you’ll even go on the side of the road. For fuck’s sake, he went swimming at the same pool straight afterwards.

 

What made him evil? His using someone’s body against their will. What makes him an especially evil son of a bitch? The fact that it was a child. But what makes his a “rape culture”? The fact that he couldn’t see what everyone was upset about. He obviously comes from a place where this is an accepted part of life. Taken forgranted even. Nothing to get worked up about. He raped a child, and tied his shoe laces. I mean, nobody’s upset that he tied his shoe laces. In the U.S., Europe and large parts of the world people will get upset if somebody rapes someone else. It is considered wrong (by most of the people there at least). Here’s a clue – if you’re protesting “rape culture”, it means people are upset (understandably so). That means you aren’t in a “rape culture”. Rape may be prevalent, but it’s not the culture.

 

Want to know the best way to end a “rape culture” (or the prevalence of rape)? Educate all the women and children about how to spot that rape is being set up; what things a rapist says and does to give himself away; then arm them and train them to be dangerous people. One generation of little boys growing up watching the little girls growing up trained, dangerous and knowledgeable. If won’t stop all rapes, but it’ll make a lot of men think twice when they know the women can spot what he’s doing a mile off and are happily capable of ending him. Same goes if all the adults know that the children can and do talk to their parents about everything, especially the awkward stuff).

 

All these people chanting about “rape culture”. They’re all chanting about how everybody else must change. They’re not chanting about what definitive, measurable steps they themselves can take. That makes is whining. A child whines because he’s been wronged in his eyes, he doesn’t whine about how he can take more responsibility over his own life and fix the situation that way (well, actually many children do complain about not being given more control over their lives, i.e. responsibility. Children beg and fight for more responsibility, 20-year old university students beg and fight for someone to take responsibilities away from them (and in doing so are literally asking to have less ability to affect the direction their lives take – iron when you they’re ostensibly protesting someone controlling their body without their permission via rape).

 

So basically students chanting about “rape culture” sounds like whining because they don’t have Vietnam to protest anymore.

 

The invoking of “rape culture” is a scape-goat. It allows everybody involved to feel like they’re doing something, without having to actually do something. Does anybody think that “Raising awareness about rape culture” is going to make a pissed off, drunk fraternity dude who’s been raised to see women as less important that anything he needs in life, is going to stop himself before he decks a drunk co-ed and think “Shit, I’m furthering the culture of rape, I’d better stop”? No, nobody in their right minds thinks that this will have any effect on anything other than policies, ego, smugness and the ability to impose your opinions on other people by remote control (oh wait, I’ve already mentioned political policies). So you can stage your sit-ins and protests. Give me a chick who truly values herself, and who wants to learn how to conceal and use a knife and knows when to use it. I’ll give you a guess as to who will make any difference in life.

 

Rape is something that can be avoided and prevented by many means. But when it comes to escaping it once it’s started (or about to) then profoundly asocial actions are needed. Highly unemotional, clinical violence for example can be very useful here. Anything that detracts from that reality (say, people thinking that protests and laws have any effect on bad guys) is a distraction and waste of time at best, and more likely is giving dangerous false hopes/beliefs/expectations that convince people that they don’t have to get good at clinical violence. I.e. the opportunity cost of wasting any time on “rape culture” (real or not) is missing out on how to actually improve society and end the very thing they’re complaining about.

 

So why do people go on about “rape culture” and micro-aggressions? Because there is power in being a victim. In many societies these days people will shit themselves silly and trip over each other to get out your way and to pander to you if you are a victim. Whether or not this helps the victim (or cements the self-identity of “victim”) is another matter. Rory Miller’s excellent “Meditations on Violence” delves into this idea quite nicely. Associating/being on the side of the victim is the next best thing to being the victim (see YouTube videos of white people complaining about white privilege). In this way one “victim” can enable a host of hangers-on.

 

If I could sum up my distaste for “rape culture” pundits, it’s this: I have issues with people who focus on trying to change the Bad Guys, and thereby absolve themselves of any personal responsibility (e.g. the feminists who argue that a women can’t enjoy her life unless she has access to abortions on demand – this translates to a woman can’t enjoy her life is she doesn’t get to avoid responsibilities and have no repercussions for her actions)

 

So how can “rape culture” get you raped? Either you actually live in one (Hint: not most western nations); or you complain about it, which absolves you of any responsibility to look after yourself – a.k.a. makes you an easy target.

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